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Man stirs up a salad before serving it to family members.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Here's how this guy explained the ongoing situation:
Am I wrong for secretly buying extra food for my niece because her brothers eat everything first?
My brother's family has been staying with me and my wife for around 6 months while they save money after moving from another state. it’s been okay and we get along pretty well.
They have 3 kids two boys and one girl The boys are both athletes (track and basketball) and they eat a ton. They’re teenagers and constantly hungry. Whenever food is made, they usually go back for multiple servings and they demolish snacks really quickly.
If you know even one teenager, you know that they are truly bottomless pits. And it does seem true that teen boys eat a lot more than their teen girl counterparts. A teen boy can eat an entire pizza in one sitting, then still polish off a pint or 3 of ice cream. A lot of teens learn how to cook just because they're so hungry that they don't want to wait for their parents to make them meals.
But for teen girls, there can be a ton of pressure, from their friends, family, and social media, to fit current day beauty standards. That means watching what they eat and trying to stay slim, even if that's not what their body needs.
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Teen eats pasta with a family member sitting next to her at the kitchen table.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Something I started noticing though, was that their daughter who I believe is 14 would regularly complain that there was barely anything left for her by the time she got to it. I also noticed my brother and his wife usually gave the boys noticeably bigger portions during meals.
I figured it was just maybe because the boys are bigger and more active, but I eventually asked my brother about it because it seemed kinda excessive, He told me the boys “need the calories” because they’re athletes and still growing, while his daughter “doesn’t really do sports and sits around most of the day.” He also said he doesn’t want her “getting overweight.” As she isn't physically active much outside of normal school activities.
The father things a bit twisted up here. Yes, athletes certainly do need extra calories. But just because his daughter sits around or whatever doesn't mean she needs far fewer calories. She should be eating the same meals as he and her Mom do. She should be allowed to have snacks! Even if she's not burning calories by playing football every day, I think the Dad is forgetting about how much growth teens go through. That's also why they get sleepy a lot, and why some of them experience literal growing pains as their bodies rapidly change.
The Dad has a rather negative view of his own daughter, and he'll need to do some real introspection to think about why he feels this way.
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Teen boys joke around while their sister watches on.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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Luckily, his brother called him out on it right away:
I found what my brother said to be very strange. Maybe even emotionally damaging to their daughter with the way they handle food.
So after that happened I started buying some extra snacks and drinks and keeping them in the main part of the house (their family mostly stays in the guest area of the house that has its own kitchen). I quietly told my niece she could help herself whenever she wanted so she wouldn’t feel like she had to compete with her brothers for food.
Good for this Uncle!
After all, he is literally letting this family live under his roof, so he may as well implement some of his own rules.
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Fridge filled with fruits, vegetables, pickle veggies, and condiments.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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How do you think the brother handled it? About as well as most parents do when you try to parent their kid for them.
My brother found out about this and completely lost it. He accused me of making him look like some terrible parent who was “starving” his daughter. He said she already gets 3 large meals a day that his wife cooks, and that they do buy her snacks, but she “doesn’t need to pig out on them.”
He also said if I was going to buy extra food for one of his kids, I should be letting the boys have access to it too.
Bro sounds a bit confused here. He certainly took back his previous statements, because now his daughter apparently gets “3 big meals” a day? I don't know if that's necessarily true, seeing as most people have a small to medium sized lunch and a larger dinner (at least in this part of the world, that's the case, but it may differ depending on where they live).
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Young girl is handed a bowl of spinach leaves while preparing a meal.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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I told him the entire reason I did it was because the boys already eat most of everything in the house and his daughter was the only one consistently being left out.
I'm not really sure if I should've gotten involved
I'm hoping this person gives us an update about what happens! Ideally, the Dad would have his eyes opened to the double standards he's enabling, and he'll change his ways. But in the mean time, this Uncle is doing everything right, including standing up for a 14-year-old who wouldn't have done so on her own.
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3 brothers hang out together outdoors.
The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.
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